Dear Robinson Crusoe:
Do you ever wish you were someone else? I think you do. I think about all the decisions I have ever made, and I even think of those I didn’t. Furthermore, I bet you have a lot of time to think about your decisions and how that has led you to where you are right now. Lost, alone.
Let me start this letter by saying I don’t like you a lot. I don’t like you a little, actually. But I think I can relate to you in some ways. I mean, I can’t judge you. You were born a really long time ago. Things were different back then. It is just that I get really mad when I recall every decision you ever made in your life. But maybe that’s just me trying to blame everyone else for everything bad that happens in the world.
I don’t even think you’re mean, only a little fool, perhaps. I understand. I know how you felt when you were told your future was supposed to be a normal one. I know, a regular life doesn’t sound like a lot of fun in your twenties. I know you wanted to eat the entire world, and be the owner of yourself, and get to know every single corner of this earth, even if it’s round. I know how it feels to think that you are better than your parents and want to be better than them.
I keep thinking that I deserve a better future. I think I have suffered enough. I know how it feels to think that you are entitled to bigger things. It sounds awful and selfish, but I feel comfortable writing this to you. After all, you are awful and selfish. I probably don’t deserve a better future. Other people suffer as well. Other people would kill to have the opportunities and privileges I have. It is just that I am so tired of the life I have. You probably were too, and that’s what led you to this point.
I want to be big, I want to go to the sea, like you, but I also want to go to the mountains, to the rivers, to the woods, to the deserts. I want to see it all. But those dreams might be bigger than I am. Your dreams were definitely bigger than you.
And I am so afraid. I am terrified of the future. And as much as I dislike you, I also envy you for the courage you had when you had to leave everything behind to follow your dreams. You left your parents, your home, your arranged future, your comfortable life. You went through so much, and it pains me you regret your decision. Does this mean I have to be more careful with my plans, my future? How bad could you have possibly lived to regret so much your decision to leave? How much suffering did you have to endure to follow your dreams?
You make me feel so helpless. So hopeless. Why did you regret your decision to leave, Robinson?
Would you have rather to live a regular, normal life? No, that would have made you think about the sea all of your life. About the decisions you did not make. Don’t be a coward. Don’t regret it.
Yes, you are screwed. But it was because you made it happen. Not because someone told you to. Don’t you want dear make me fear for my future? I will not settle with my life. I will try my best to do what I want, and to live the best I can, so I don’t have to regret anything. Second chances are always given.
Thank God I never met you.
